Have you heard the news?
They love their toilet rolls
Have you heard the news?
They so love their toilet rolls
With a rock in their heads
And a shadow in their souls

As I went out a-walking
Into those staring minds
As I went out a-walking
Into those staring minds
I wore out my crows mask
I spent my golden hind

I dreamed I was in battle
With the supermarket dead
I dreamed I was in battle
With the supermarket dead
Even my neighbour
Has a door hanging off her shed

Clapping made you happy
But you might be dead thereafter
Clapping made you happy
But you may be dead thereafter
While the leopard-spotted cat wind
Falls about in laughter

The overlord he spoke
The world watched what he would do
The overlord he spoke
Let’s see what he will do
Poor man, he could do nothing
He went and caught it too

The only one escaped
Lived in a jewellery box
The only one escaped
Lived in a jewellery box
She didn’t like the news
She had her security locked

Can you read the viral news?
You would do if you could see it
Can you read the viral news?
You would do if you could see it
The viral news is bad news
And so is the viral blues

They’re falling all around you
Oh my, Captain Tom
They’re falling all around you
Oh my, Captain Tom
You’ll awake one sunny morning
And wonder where they’ve gone

There’s a black patch on the sun
Where they put the needle in
There’s a black patch on the sun
Where they put the needle in
The sun is in a coma
But it has some light within