The progress so far: in the 2nd, 6th, 11th bars I have changed the melody to fit with an Em-Asus2 combination. The melody was a bit ornamental and this gives it a smoother start to the poetry line. These two chords are like banging two flints together, they can be quite dramatic.
The second part of the song has become I hope a sunnier melody with the C chord in use more and the melody a bit more developed.
PDF of song
chris hall poem 10 june