Angry Ian

How angry is Ian

So you awoke in the morning
Not knowing how angry Ian is

Love -for Ian – is like
Little beads of water in a frying pan
As the gasses lash
Ian poked his head in the pan

Angry Ian got burnt
For a few pearls of water
And then he proceeded
to the slaughter

How angry Ian really is
An angry Ian goes basket-balling
Through the green snakes of summer
Machine gunning with his little fingers
The invading hang gliders from Hit-land

Angry Ian foams and bubbles in brine
Sets fire to his shoes and runs thru litter
Smashing the traffic beacons down
And stripping the traffic wardens of their uniforms
That’s how angry Ian really is

Angry Ian says

Protest thru rock                 Protest in full moon
Protest thru stone               Protest in eclipse
Protest thru flesh                Protest with eyes
Protest thru bone                Protest with lips

Protest with femurs            Protest with fingers
Protest with thighs              Protest with toes
Protest with laughs             Protest with ears
Protest with cries                Protest with your nose

………………….Walk up to the flag
………………….With a flag of your own
………………….Walk up to the border
………………….With a passport of stone

………Protest all alone
………Protest all alone

…………………………………I’ve been a protester
…………………………………Since the age of one
…………………………………I started protesting
…………………………………With my nappy on

Mother didn’t listen
Bother didn’t like
Father took it further
Scholl broke my mind

I protested in silence
Like the boy who’d gone bad
I protested in silence
Until I went mad
When I was five

Angry Ian and Simmering Sue

Angry Ian and simmering Sue
Got their dog porky
And went to the zoo

When asked for their money
They said that’s not nice
How can anyone
Afford such a price

Then up rolled a Rover
And out came a prince
He got in free
With hardly a wince

Then the ticket office man
Turned and said scram

To angry Ian and simmering Sue
And not forgetting
Their dog Porky too

So they hiked round the back
And climbed over the fence
And made monkey faces
At the keeper and the prince

And let out a skunk
And the scorpion too
And the black widow spider
That ran thru the zoo

Then angry Ian
And simmering sue
Got their dog Porky
And went home two by two

Angry Ian

Angry Ian
Tried to run away
Down to the red light
To stop and to stay

He met lots of ladies
And was safely employed
Taking them breakfast
Of spinach and pork pies

The police inspector
Caught the runaway
He clapped him in irons
Like a lost stray

He would not give his name
He trod on their feet
And down Gypsy Lane
He ran fast and fleet

There he fell in love
With a gypsy twin
She was dark and beautiful
Hungry and thin

The coppers they found him
And tore them apart
And angry Ian
Had a broken heart

They pushed him in a van
And took him away
When they stopped for a cuppa
The coppers turned grey

Angry Ian picked the lock
And ran off down the way
Without shoes or socks
For a year and a day

Then he joined the circus
As a fire eater
After a performance,
he drank lots of cold beer

Social services went mad
The cops and his parents
Surrounded the circus
And taking their bearance

Charged right in
And arrested him
There’d be no getting away now
For angry Ian

They locked him inside
A high-security prison
And that’s the last word
We have of angry Ian