Hamster

When you’re spinning round
Just spinning round
In your wheel
The earth and the sky
Become one grey blur

When you’re spinning around
In your treadmill
You have no time
To stop and look

You work so, so hard
In your little treadmill
Forgetful of the cage
That you live in

Until when a red sunset
Sat above the mountains
Its swords were dipped ion blood
It cut through the bars of your cage
And you ran off into the night alive

An Authority Bias

It had an authority bias
This sheep
It did what it was told to do
And it died

Its blood was drained into cups
Its flesh was eaten
Its wool was used for clothing

He had an authority bias
This man
He was plea bargained into oblivion
Where truth didn’t shine
And his soul
Was laid out like a carpet

The temperature

The temperature
Seems to control my dreams
The warmer I sleep
The deeper I dream

Then as I awake
I miss the magic of a just dreamt dream
Its painterly colours and shapes
Its benevolence

The winter brings
The deep disturbing dream
That scratches the surface
Of a deep inner skin

So deep is this skin
That it could be prehistoric
The skin of a lava
Of a lost earth

Where gingerbread men
Are carved out of the crust
And making their way along a moonlit path
They sit down in a dark cave

That I forget as I awake
But sometimes, I’m given
The dreamer’s wage
That I cannot spend in any reality

The Sweeper

If a man
Does the work
Of the wind
Is the wind
Made redundant

If a man is employed
To do the work of the wind
To sweep away the brittle leaves
But leave behind the plastic;

If he spends all day
Upon the pavement
Sweeping heaps of leaves away

May well he wonder
May well he worry
Did he sweep the corner?

While the wind
Breathes in a deep breath
And sweeps the sweeper away

The postman’s spirit

The postman’s spirit
Was amongst you
Long before he arrived

He knocks and you say thankyou
As if you own him your lives

He replies, thank you
As if he knew you well
As if he had been amongst you
As the night fell
As if he awoke up with you
and sat in the visitor’s chair
And you didn’t see his spirit
Sitting and waiting there
Until that gentle knock on the door

We all know each other
We all are in the dance

We all would like to link arms
We all would like to hold hands

In the aftermath
Of an earth quake
When the ground has slid around
And all the atoms of the wind
Are rolling on the ground
And all the sticks and stones
That break us
And all the leaves in piles of snow
And all the curfews that never ended
And all the roadblocks
That never go
Hang inside us
Move around inside us
Waiting for the van

They take you up to the green gate

They take you
up to the green gate
Then through the gate
And they leave you there
In the great fenced estate

Where a densely packed crowd
Mill about
Then where all the animals
Sit and stare
As the tightly packed crowd
Climb the stairs

And no one yet
Knows you are there
Amongst the millions
Of dreaming fragments
Amongst the millions
Of detached fragments
Amongst the people
Who are waiting
To go to heaven
To go to the bus station
To go to their destination

Crowds of fragmented souls
Crammed inside
Behind the fences in your head
Looking with your eyes
All of them
Looking with your eyes

And how they move
Like a landslide mass
How they move
Like a swirling wind
Like the white tide
In the moonlight
They fall like sticks
Upon the beach and standing up
They start to move inland
Looking for God
Looking for heaven

And no one there
See the gates
Or your parents
Waving goodbye

Then you never see them again
Perhaps they are here
In dream Eden

You wake up in a dark ward
You wake up in an alien place
Your bed is a hospital bed
And your face is your own lonely face

And does heaven
Even exist for them
and will they have to start again
in a another time and place

Into eternity out of the egg
The broken egg
That leviathan left
Amongst the bitten bones
And the feathers of fallen angels
Amongst the rocks
And the gravestones of battleships
Will they start again
Or do they argue
Do they fight
Amongst themselves
Do they point the finger?
Like in the revolution
Have they let grievances linger
Do they forgive
In the judgment of mankind
Will they divide
Into warring factions

And you are glad
You are awake
And you are glad
Of your own lonely face

Panic attack

Talking, talking
About panic
About panic attack
About your
Panic attack
Attacking, attacking

It’s so dark
It goes so dark and black
It gets so dark and black
When you have
A panic attack

Faceless as faceless
As a lightning attack
But there in the night
Is the attacker
The attacker is back

He got inside you
He got inside you
With a fear
He put the fear of him
Inside you
Inside you
You still feel him here

His name was monster
His name was monster killer
He put his fear inside you
So that you would fear him
And him alone
Even when you’re on your own

He’s your panic attacker
He’s your panic attack
There’s the door you say
Go away
And don’t come back

But the mention of his name
It taboo
You don’t say his name to anyone
A picture of his face is too
And it gives you a panic attack

There is no reason
Why he chose you
There is no reason why
He’s the monster
Who wants the whole world
He’s cracking the whole world
Into pieces
Then he movers through the cracks

He’s yours
He’s mine
He’s the darkness
That they talk about
On the news
He thrives on fear
And anxiety
He conquers with
A panic attack

All it needs
Is a word
Said sideways
Under a wrap
But spiders thread
Reaches out
And catches you
With a panic attack

The art of fear is a program
That can
Steal your life away
The art of fear is
A program
That stops you
In your track

His face is always hiding
In a drawer full of words
His face is always hiding
In a window on the world

What you need is love
To wash over you
What you need I know
Is to be loved

Fear is in the dilemma
Of the loved or the not loved
And false love
Made you vulnerable
To panic attack

You need love
Everybody knows that
But nobody reaches out
For fear of a panic attack
Everybody’s in fear
It’s a terrorists favorite trick
Everybody’s in fear
Of a panic attack

Mr. Speaker

How the body speech
Is smashed against the rocks
And used f like iron cannon balls
Mr. Speaker

How the spoken word
Is demolished into blood splatter
In the mouth of a dream
By fragments of wood
Mr. Speaker

How the creaking sound
Is put through the blender
And used to rub down
The stock market
Mr. Speaker

How the language of science
Is used like a bendy balloon
And pushed into molds for teacups

Mr. Speaker
You well know this
How words make up trains of thought
That run off the tracks
And crash down hillsides

Mr. Speaker
You well know
How the souls of people
Leave letters burning in the fire grate
Like dislocated shoulder blades
And the ocean inside a rib cage
Is over fished by the common good

Mr. Speaker
We’ve heard all about it
Haven’t we
About how the opposition
Hang out their dirty laundry
In Daffy Duck cartoons for the elderly
Whilst walking hand on shoulder
Through the sewage pipes of a blind man’s bluff

And Mr. Speaker
Before I hand over to the honourable member
For mouth sores
Let me say this
I applaud all she does
For washing machines

A fool’s guide to a calorie controlled diet

Hunger: you have to wait for the next meal
Appetite: You have to control your appetite
The desire of the eyes: you have to be on guard

Your sorrows: emotional pain, grief, depression
A food balanced intake: regular meals to avoid an eating disorder

?Freeing the muscular system from carrying extra weight to do more energetic things
?Freeing the pressure on lungs as you breathe
?Freeing the worries of your mind about your weight

Bad days and sleeplessness:
Exercise = a good night’s sleep
Exercise: Ten minutes a day take the blues away

Endurance: identifying how you feel
Socializing?

Sometimes you feel you don’t want to eat, that you need support;
make sure that one isn’t influenced by the other
you don’t want to eat full stop or
you don’t want to eat because you enjoy feeling hungry in a martyred way

stick to your instincts about food
stick to the plan even when under attack by unreasonable thoughts and feelings
get back onto your diet feet and carry on

in reply to people who say
I’m overindulging today
-why don’t you join me
say
I’m not hungry, thankyou
And tell them a joke

Guilt: you buy a chocolate bar for your self
It will nudge out a proper meal for that day
Let it
Let nothing stop you
Losing calories,
using up fat tissue and keeping to the mission

Exercise
Is exercise the beall & endall
Or is it a back up and support

When you start dieting you may not want to exercise
But then later on out of the blue you might feel that you want to
The more you begin to lose weight the more you feel like a little exercise

Because you were overweight
and you were in a system where you ate
because the weight made you feel tired
and you needed energy to support the weight

if you decide to use the gym
remember it’s not a tea party
you go into a strange environment
a factory setting, a gym factory
and you go to do battle

food: eat what you enjoy
eat what you need
try to keep it balanced
in a tipsy turvy kind of way

eat what you enjoy if you socialize
but not more than what you need
eat what you need if you feel down
and get an early night
and get some exercise
even if all you can do is a few push-ups
keep the momentum

giving up is like going belly up
going belly up is giving in to the beast that stalks you
a hungry lion

maybe we lose weight exponentially
maybe it starts of very, very slowly
and then gets slowly better
whatever the fact of the matter
don’t lose control on the downhill ride

calories, begin as if you were
1/ eating for a normal weight so that
when you reach a normal weight you’re ok with it
If you have a bad sleep pattern
Notice it, take control
Don’t let it own you, you own it

There are weaker parts of our sleep
Where we might wake up
Early morning is great for your strange dreams

Losing weight is complex
It is emotionally grueling to deal with

But if you want to improve your self confidence
And enjoy life it is worth it

Put your agreed amount of calories in your wallet
You have maybe 2,500 calories a day to spend
When your wallet is empty that is it

Fat – there is fat under your skin
And worse there is fat around your organs

If you’re of sound mind – use the bathroom scales
If not – don’t worry about it

If you eat an unscheduled chocolate bar
Then you maybe shouldn’t eat the roast beef for dinner
only the spuds

If you are or are not on a diet schedule – it doesn’t matter
You must learn how to control your appetite

You might have brought too much food in the shop
and feel you have to eat it all and not waste it
Wrong
You must learn to shop wisely and fill your plate wisely

How does the body start to use up fat?
Try to picture it,
try to find out about the process and how it works

There is invisible light

There is invisible light
There is invisible sound
Is there invisible food?
Maybe without cells
Or cooking smells
Not super marketed in packets
Behind a strong room door
That I cannot find
A forbidden invisible fruit
A grass that grows
Invisible above the clouds
A vegetable that thrives in space
Without revealing itself
To the human range
The human scope of what is known
A mode of a material
Beyond scientific reason
A food of life
That my eyes cannot see
That my stomach cannot digest
That my mouth cannot taste
That even if I highlight with a coloured dye
That makes me salivate
I cannot eat
A food that requires
Materialization to occur
is imagination real?
Are dreams in a manual to be learned?
As big as the internet
As heavy as a milky way in space
That only a small portion
Can live in me
Because
Of my small interface
With the universe
Small in speech and hearing, Small eyes,
Small in heart and capacity for learning
Small and small wise
A small-wise me
Who needs feeding,
capable of bleeding
Capable of dying while the wheat grows tall
In the silent wind