Slow death blues

I’m living in a slow death country
That’s part of a slow death world
I’m living with a slow death woman
I’m living with the slow death blues

The rich own all the factories
The rich own all the farms
The poor survive on benefits
Listening to the slow-death alarms

It was true about billy Hogarth
It was true about billy Blake
It was true about billy turner
that the whole world is a fake

You could say that I’m not happy
You could say that I’m dissatisfied
You could say I woke up feeling bad
To a whole world full of lies

in the words of Tom Paxton “we all have to feel bad sometimes “.

song: Until I sing

I don’t know what I’m doing
Until I sing
I don’t know what I’m doing
Until I sing
What’s the plan, where to go
follow a dream
Or follow you
I don’t know what I’m doing
Until I sing

I don’t know where I’m going
Until I sing
I don’t know where I’m going
Until I sing
To cover the world in feet of clay
To get somewhere
Then go away
Because
I don’t know here I’m going
Until I sing

I don’t know who I’m with
Until I sing
I don’t know who I’m with
Until I sing
To hold the whole world
In my hand
But I’ll never understand
I don’t know who I’m with
Until I sing

I don’t know who I love
Until I sing
I don’t know who I love
Until I sing
Love I like a foreign word
For acting strange
For knot in cord/for thing absurd
I don’t know who I love
Until I sing

I don’t know how I feel
Until I sing
I won’t know how I feel
Until I sing
Sing for something in my soul
All this pain
I’ve had zo long
I won’t know how I feel
Until I sing

this is about how, someone has been emotionally traumatized and are unsure of their feelings

here is a Sibelius PDF and audio file of my song

Goodbye world

Disgusted and afraid
Think I’m gonna have to be
Brave again
There’s a shadow in a room
Holding a cane
Can you take another beating?
Will you go insane again?

They got you in their grip
They got you in their reign
There’s nothing you can do
To prevent it

Think you’ll have to be brave
Think you’ll have to be fit
Think you’ll have to be strong
And take it, and take it

You don’t know why
No, you don’t know why
They teach you nothing
Then you are punished for it

There was no way out
There was no way in
You just have to stand there
And take the hit

Look at that feeling
Isn’t it the best
Can you believe this heart?
That’s beating in your chest

Alas it’s so distant now
It’ll never come again
Alas it was like a dream
Now it’s back to the pain

Goodbye world
You gave me
Nothing but pain
You leave me to collapse
And to fall down the drain

Goodbye world
I’ll never miss you
You’ve hurt me and you’ve scarred me
You’ve beat me
Thru and thru

Never one to complain
I take the blame
Again
Never one to ask for help
Or to tell
I take all the pain again

Goodbye world
I won’t miss you
And I won’t cry
It’s goodbye world
You’re day is coming
Sorry I won’t be there
To see you die

If I could scrape the cash together
If I could survive the weather
If I could get up on my feet
If I could make the people see
But you know this cannot last
And my blood is leaking fast
And no ones there for me
And I don’t have what I need
And I need love
And I need love

We all feel bad sometimes as the man said. Well I’ve got to find some way of expressing it. I can only hope that it gets better for all of us. There is always hope.

This could be a slap up song, maybe, but I need to take a deep breath, first. I can’t pretend it’s not how I feel this morning, I had some rough times but some good times too.

So i look at this as a performance piece, as a fiction, like always.

What’s that Greek work therapeutic no something like that

Song: Wilson (2nd version)


Yeah, that was Wilson
He was fast on the draw
Yeah, that was Wilson
He was outside the law

1.In his white silk shirt
And his Spanish hat
And his black waistcoat
How he cut a dash
With his iron guns
Strapped to his side
And the way he walked
And the way he died

2.How he kept so clean
With a barbers cut
who knows how
there’s no barmaids love
all that you could smell
was the smell of blood
and his spurs would jangle
around his foot

3.if you got in his way
you would have to pay
he’d humiliate you
til your hair turned grey
and your time ran out
and there a no time left
when he made his move
it was sudden death

4.Yea that was Wilson
he was fast on the draw
then he met one faster
it’s a gunslingers law
his evil heart stopped
his life slipped away
no one remembers
how he died that day

Wilson chorus on guitar

Father fetch those chains

Father fetch those chains
This boy he’s no good
Father fetch those chains
He’s not our blood – anymore

1.He won’t go to school
He just runs away
He won’t do his work
He just wants to play

2.He don’t believe in god
Neither in god’s love
He won’t trust in sacrifice
or in Lord Jesus’s blood

3.He does not act right
He sings in the rain
He gets into fights
He has got a bad name

4.Sister wants to say
He just needs our love
But he breaks the rules
Swearing like a lug

Song: You don’t notice me

you don’t notice me
you think i’m no good
you don’t notice me
i wish that you would
You don’t notice me
even tough i’m in love
you know i was born
on a backwards farm
they put it on the news
to raise the alarm
the country was plagued
by fire and flood
they blamed it on me
like you know that they would
you don’t notice me
even though i’m in love

you don’t notice me
you think i’m no good
you don’t notice me
i wish that you would
you don’t notice me
even though i’m in love
you know that i live
with no penny to my name
your know when there’s a crime
i get the blame
what went wrong
it’s that kid in a hood
one look at me
ends shivers in the blood
you don’t notice me
even though i’m in love

mp3 of sibelius audio of you don’t notice me


A song with a country rock rhythm, muted strings percussive sound.
Not happy with the even though i’m in love bit, i would work more on it if it was any good, as it is its just a bit of fun to write anyway.
The PDF has come up nicely but i don’t know how, its the first time its come out like this.

Take that weight off of your mind

Take that weight off your mind

Take that weight off your mind
Take that wedge out of your heart
Instead of stone, sow seed
You can make a new start

The town you are in is a hard one
With streets of dismal drab
Come and see me, I will make you smile
Together we will never be sad

Take that weight off your mind
Come and follow the lines of signs
Everywhere you go today the sun shines
I’m yours and you’re mine

Pet dog blues

Pet dog blues
You give me Pet dog blue
I’ve been a part of you so long
I think I really am you

Pet dog blues
Only my empty bark echo’s in the wind
Only my serial number in the mirror
Shows I’ve never really been

My nuts and bolts are loosening
Soon your pet dog dies
Thinking only of you
Forgiving all your lies

I feel like a fountain motionless in the sky

I feel like I’m a fountain motionless in the sky
I feel I might start living ever since you came by

I thought you might desert me
After all that has been
I’m glad that you are with me
I’m your fountain, you’re my dream

Now I’m flying I was kneeling
Have you ever known such a feeling?

I’m your jack-in-the-box

Take me out, open me
I’m your Jack in the box

I’ve been stuck in the darkness
So lonely have I been
Then you came and found me
And opened up a dream

I’m your jack in the box
I’m bound to spring up out at you
It’s not that I’m being square
That’s only on the outside
Inside I really care

You’ll never know how much I cried
But no – I’m your Jack In the Box
But no I’m your Jack in the box
And I’m bound to spring out at you

A big buzz fly

A big Buzz fly comes into my room
And I lose how I felt about you
He’s so noisy like a buzz saw
He cut me up in two

I know that I might loose
That we’ve never really been friends
Go home to your buzz fly
I hope you make amends

There are many too many buzz flies
All around you
I try to swat another
Will I ever get to love you?

I don’t know what is wrong with me.
I should be sad and blue
But I woke up with the happiness bug
Feeling good and new

I’ll have to go back to my poetry

I’ll have to go back to my poetry
To sitting in chairs in dusty rooms
To human easels crying like rain
To mopping up the tears of the moon

There are a hundred and one dagger in my soul
I bleed so much I’m feeling very cold
How can it be the sun makes me lose the blues?
What should be, what should be my goal

I’ll have to go back to my journey
I’m like a pilgrim in the land of the night
I’ll have to go home to the wax works
To watch the dummies melt in their spite

There are a hundred daggers in my soul
I bleed like a murdered goal
There are a hundred daggers in my soul
How can I ever be whole?

I don’t feel like being miserable

I don’t feel like being miserable
I don’t feel like being sad
But what I need to be happy
Is a hundred miles away

Remember this day forever
When you climbed the mountaintop
It can’t stay this way forever
I’m not a have, I’m a have not

But I don’t want to feel like being blue
I don’t want to be so sad
But I watch the bird melting on the rooftop
I’m either dreaming or I’ve gone mad

Song: I’m in love and she won’t believe me

I’m in love and he won’t believe me
I’m in love and she won’t believe me
I’m in love and he won’t believe me no

Verse

It is true that inside my heart
That lonliness plays a part
That lonliness keeps me in the dark

When loves comes through I’m feeling good
The sun comes out and I’m in love
The sun comes out and I fall in love

Sibelius audio for “I’m in love and he won’t believe me”

PDF of “I’m in love and he won’t believe me”

I wrote this in 1994 about but finally got it worked out now.

Song: Train Rider

Song: Train rider

Train rider, train rider
Where are you going to?
Going to the end of the line
Going to the end of time

You’re watching the stations go by
Grasping at shadows, hiding your chains
Watching the birds how they fly
Hiding your thoughts, hiding your pain

Train rider, train rider
Do you think that you’re going to die?
Do you think that you’re going to die?

PDF of Train Rider