song: Until I sing

I don’t know what I’m doing
Until I sing
I don’t know what I’m doing
Until I sing
What’s the plan, where to go
follow a dream
Or follow you
I don’t know what I’m doing
Until I sing

I don’t know where I’m going
Until I sing
I don’t know where I’m going
Until I sing
To cover the world in feet of clay
To get somewhere
Then go away
Because
I don’t know here I’m going
Until I sing

I don’t know who I’m with
Until I sing
I don’t know who I’m with
Until I sing
To hold the whole world
In my hand
But I’ll never understand
I don’t know who I’m with
Until I sing

I don’t know who I love
Until I sing
I don’t know who I love
Until I sing
Love I like a foreign word
For acting strange
For knot in cord/for thing absurd
I don’t know who I love
Until I sing

I don’t know how I feel
Until I sing
I won’t know how I feel
Until I sing
Sing for something in my soul
All this pain
I’ve had zo long
I won’t know how I feel
Until I sing

this is about how, someone has been emotionally traumatized and are unsure of their feelings

here is a Sibelius PDF and audio file of my song

The walls of the heart

The all of the heart
Are like a red land
The red hills
Are alive forever

But see how it feels
when darken falls
And the heart
Is nothing but leather

The light of the heart
Is a spiritual light
A bird that flies
Like a lantern

But pain is like
A fence of thorns
And love is like
A phantom

The Crimes of Art

These crimes of art
That makes fools
By suggesting
That we know nothing at all

That drive us
To oblete the questions
Growing in our souls

Fearing the light we produce
Do we turn away from the light?

These tricks of art
These pranks upon society
Whose waves start to roar
Against a portion of a dream

This giant of jest
In the jesters hat
Oh how he laughs
At the joke that destroys us all

How do you call goodness
Into question?
By destroying the things
That you feel good about?

If you do not wish to see
the murder
close the door and do not believe
That goodness is strong

The goodness inside
Does not need protection
It needs reality
If it is to question

Oh poor sleeping beauty
The beast is also part of you
Why should it be denied the love
That you both aspire to

Do you sleep to calm the inner beast
That grows hungry and further apart
Or do you stay awake and try to ease
The pain of him in your heart

In the machine of life
Empathy has its mechanism
Without it
You will walk upon one leg

If you lock up the room
In someone’s house
where a loved one lives
you destroy yourself

if with a social tattoo on the arm
you burn the blood of the soul
you will make the person lose their balance
but they will not hear the alarm

so that they are drawn to the water’s edge
and do not see the danger
or they speak harsh words
to a complete stranger

so that they hob along
like a cogwheel missing a cog
yet they do not know
into what harm they go
or what harm they come out of

so that they need to learn
why they go through pain
they can’t explain
and bruise so easily at the missing thought
that enters everybody else’s brain

Notes
firstly i was thinking about how art works in society and then I began to think about people who through the fault of society are without some emotion

In Carbon Blue

I have the carbon copy of love
Blue words from blue paper
Impressed into a receipt book
Like little blue birds of lettering

Oh, sadness tries to bring forth tears
Blue tears from a blue heart
Impressed into a receipt book
Like little blue birds of water drops

But they do not appear
The receipt book is left blank
The sorrows hover in my heart
Like a suspended rain, going nowhere

Oh, I have so many receipts processed by dreams
Dreams that use the blue carbon paper
To remind me of what I’ve paid to you
In tears

Sunny Rainclouds

We’ve got
sunny rainclouds
in our hearts
Our hearts
are a cerulean blue
We’ve got
sunny rainclouds
in our hearts
Accepted
Nothing we can do

You might need
a bit of rain
on a sunny day
You might need
the sun to shine
thru the rain

May I recommend to you
sunny rainclouds
sunny rainclouds
of cerulean blue

I met a shadow
In a corner
I said
Shadow, how are you
He said
That he has depression
He wants some sunny rain
In cerulean blue

I met
A ghost
In the desert
I said
Well
How do you do?
He said
It’s too hot
Where he’s going
He wanted
Some sunny rainclouds
Of cerulean blue

sunny raincloud

for Katy Claire

Sadness

Sadness
it is a constant process
yes
you have to keep it rolling
al the time

Sadness
it is a constant process
you have to keep it rolling
to make it mine

it is not so bad
it’s not so good
it’s just a feeling
to feel better than you should

its made of the different colours
from the rain
you add some good
you add some bad
you add some happy
you add some pain

Sadness
is a constant process
yes
you have to keep it rolling
both day and night
you take some good

of what you feel
you take some bad
you keep rolling
to combine

if you do that, what
do you have
a feeling that is
more good than bad

and that’s not so bad

for Hettie

Collaboration: Chris Hall poem

The progress so far: in the 2nd, 6th, 11th bars I have changed the melody to fit with an Em-Asus2 combination. The melody was a bit ornamental and this gives it a smoother start to the poetry line. These two chords are like banging two flints together, they can be quite dramatic.

The second part of the song has become I hope a sunnier melody with the C chord in use more and the melody a bit more developed.

PDF of song
chris hall poem 10 june

Stealing Dreams of You

Stealing dreams of you in the sunshine
Stealing dreams of you in the light
Stealing dreams of you in the evening
Stealing dreams of you in the night

A thief in your dreams I take them with me
To every lonely corner of the land
For though love is over I can’t get over
How my dreams have turned to sand?

Stealing dreams of you as you’re sleeping
As many as I can while you’re in bed
You’ve got more dreams than I’d imagined
While all my own dreams are dead

I love you in your dreams I take them with me
To every single corner of the land
If the dreams I have are yours
I know it makes you mad of course
But since you’re gone all my dreams have turned to sand

March 29

I Was, I Had, I Dreamt

I was born from an Ostrich egg in the desert
I was as a hairy Grand Canyon in the scales of justice
I flew like a rivulet of milk in outer space

I had the face of an Indian carved in granite
I had the body of a pregnant woman in contraction
I had the feet of the Colossus of Rhodes

I dreamt of darkness as a rubber glove turned inside out
I dreamt of light as a mechanical toy in a honeycomb
I dreamt of time as the air shrinking in a pyramid

27 march

Vulnerability

Like a lake scratched
By an overhanging tree
Vulnerability
That’s me.
All my life,
I’ve been
Suffering, this way.
Vulnerability;
Like a mirror,
broke,
Upon the street,
Beneath trampling feet.
I’m prone
to vulnerability
No, I’m not an immigrant,
Or an O.A.P.
No, I’m not a child,
But childlike maybe.
For all my life
I’ve felt this way,
With this wound
Slashed into my psyche.
All my life,
I’ve suffered dread
Like a blind man,
Or the near dead,
Who lie upon the bare earth,
To see,
To measure,
How close to death
They might be,
That’s me, surely,
I suffer from
vulnerability.