Sweet Disney

Do you
Miss me

Sitting in the third row
Of the cinema
With an ice cream
And a bag of popcorn

Do you miss me?
As you carry me
Into a fantasy world

Between me
And the screen
A highway
Of a dream

Where children
And blubber
At a cartoon

Sweet Disney
Do you
Miss me
Do you
Have my name
In your
Book of life
You have!
That’s nice

I never knew
That life
Be like hat
A nursery rhyme
And a
Fairy tale

Sweet Disney
Do you
Miss me
Not as half
As I
Miss you

Dreams do discover

Do discover
The white queen
The lover
In the honeycomb
Of your mind

That stand
On your tongue
And echo
In your lung
And revel
In a mind
Without time

Dreams do discover
As secret
As secret can be
Hiding in storms
And bright sunny morns
They wait
In chains
To be free

Into your half-lit world
That stamps on them
As soon as
They emerge

Song: Nuclear Meltdown Blues

She’s a nuclear reactor and she’s way out of control
She’s a nuclear reactor and she’s way out of control
She’s going into meltdown and her housing will explode

She needs my sprinkler system just to control her heat
She needs my sprinkler system just to control her heat
My pink button controls will cool her from her head to her feet

Oh no, she’s exploded, her blue cloud blows everywhere
Oh no, she’s exploded, her blue cloud blows everywhere
Parts of her reactor now have given me glowing hair

Oh I need your energy, strip me down and plug me in
Oh I need your energy, strip me down and plug me in
Let me have your nuclear power babe and make my nuclear atoms spin

Listen to the meltdown, that uranium core is hard
Listen to that meltdown, that uranium core is hard
My lead walls are shattered, her radio-activity’s dropped my guard

Now she needs a physics scientist to examine what I’ve done
Now she’ll need a physics scientist to examine what I’ve done
That uranium rod is everywhere it’s so dangerous, its no fun

Angry Ian

How angry is Ian

So you awoke in the morning
Not knowing how angry Ian is

Love -for Ian – is like
Little beads of water in a frying pan
As the gasses lash
Ian poked his head in the pan

Angry Ian got burnt
For a few pearls of water
And then he proceeded
to the slaughter

How angry Ian really is
An angry Ian goes basket-balling
Through the green snakes of summer
Machine gunning with his little fingers
The invading hang gliders from Hit-land

Angry Ian foams and bubbles in brine
Sets fire to his shoes and runs thru litter
Smashing the traffic beacons down
And stripping the traffic wardens of their uniforms
That’s how angry Ian really is

Angry Ian says

Protest thru rock                 Protest in full moon
Protest thru stone               Protest in eclipse
Protest thru flesh                Protest with eyes
Protest thru bone                Protest with lips

Protest with femurs            Protest with fingers
Protest with thighs              Protest with toes
Protest with laughs             Protest with ears
Protest with cries                Protest with your nose

………………….Walk up to the flag
………………….With a flag of your own
………………….Walk up to the border
………………….With a passport of stone

………Protest all alone
………Protest all alone

…………………………………I’ve been a protester
…………………………………Since the age of one
…………………………………I started protesting
…………………………………With my nappy on

Mother didn’t listen
Bother didn’t like
Father took it further
Scholl broke my mind

I protested in silence
Like the boy who’d gone bad
I protested in silence
Until I went mad
When I was five

Angry Ian and Simmering Sue

Angry Ian and simmering Sue
Got their dog porky
And went to the zoo

When asked for their money
They said that’s not nice
How can anyone
Afford such a price

Then up rolled a Rover
And out came a prince
He got in free
With hardly a wince

Then the ticket office man
Turned and said scram

To angry Ian and simmering Sue
And not forgetting
Their dog Porky too

So they hiked round the back
And climbed over the fence
And made monkey faces
At the keeper and the prince

And let out a skunk
And the scorpion too
And the black widow spider
That ran thru the zoo

Then angry Ian
And simmering sue
Got their dog Porky
And went home two by two

Angry Ian

Angry Ian
Tried to run away
Down to the red light
To stop and to stay

He met lots of ladies
And was safely employed
Taking them breakfast
Of spinach and pork pies

The police inspector
Caught the runaway
He clapped him in irons
Like a lost stray

He would not give his name
He trod on their feet
And down Gypsy Lane
He ran fast and fleet

There he fell in love
With a gypsy twin
She was dark and beautiful
Hungry and thin

The coppers they found him
And tore them apart
And angry Ian
Had a broken heart

They pushed him in a van
And took him away
When they stopped for a cuppa
The coppers turned grey

Angry Ian picked the lock
And ran off down the way
Without shoes or socks
For a year and a day

Then he joined the circus
As a fire eater
After a performance,
he drank lots of cold beer

Social services went mad
The cops and his parents
Surrounded the circus
And taking their bearance

Charged right in
And arrested him
There’d be no getting away now
For angry Ian

They locked him inside
A high-security prison
And that’s the last word
We have of angry Ian

How one cat likes to scare another

It’s too cold to go cooking in the kitchen
So I’m sitting here frozen on the mat
To tell the tale of the twitching, bewitching
The tale of the impractical cat

Who would flip a cat flap in a flicker
As a boxer would beat up a body bag
But one night its cold draught it was drinking
Draining the blood from his big-eyed head

Paying jolly games like a gymnast
Every mealtime, mauky and pawing
-Then shooting out through the cat flap
-Then shooting back for a cat nap

Then in the haze of the silvery moonlight
In the hallway hanging icicle white
Was the ogre all cats dread in their sleep
A hedgehoggy, ghost-moggy, sight

As icy as an icicle ice-sheet
That likes to frighten naughty cats to the teeth
Producing that effect of electricity
You imagine but never see

Cats running faster than a train at high speed
Like bolts of lightning through clumps of pins
Oh, the impractical cat never left the mat
After such a scare as frightful as that

Always From The Life Boat

Always from the lifeboat
I watched my life sinking,
Hanging on and floating,
The foaming waves linking.

Even on a safe ship
I kept the lifeboat near,
In case un-sinkable liner slip
Into the ocean clear.

I’ve seen icebergs floating,
Distant storms approaching,
Enemy torpedo,
Sabotaging weirdo.

I’ve watched captains go mad
And mutineers change flags,
The plague kills all on board,
Pirates put all to the sword.

Like sleeping with lights on
I keep near the lifeboat,
For anything that man made
Is hard to keep afloat.

Socks Aren’t Easy To Wash

Socks aren’t easy to wash
As tough as leathery alligators
Like wrestling with big snakes

Socks aren’t easy to wash
Tangled like weeds in the Sargasso sea
A steely wreckage of rusted U boats

Socks are swallowing socks
Into the wash they go
Never to be seen for years

Socks are a danger to the public
They turn up like killer sharks
And bite off your foot