Let me be your ready made

Le me be your ready made
Let me be your found object
Stand me upside down
Like a great upset
I look like a human
but really, I’m a sink
Call me by my catalogue name
A ceramic that doesn’t think

Let me be your ready made
Let me be your found object
A creation from the builder’s yard
A council rubbish dump reject
I may look very sentient
But I’m really a lost link
An ancient alien carving
A Holocene skating rink

The minotaur’s day out

It was a day of great accolades
A day to hear and see
The minotaur went to meet the queen
And receive an MBE

His hooves clattered down Pall Mall
And people waved their flags
His roar rattled the palace guards
Who hid their Red Battalion rags

The queen stood in the palace hall
With all her attendants near
Pinning meals on one and all
All those loved and dear

Across the marble floor he came
That cracked beath his hooves
And charging like an angry bull
Stopped short before his muse

His snorting filled the palace
Do you have a sore throat said the queen
Then the ceremony began
And all became serene

For sweeping and cleaning the labyrinth
Of bones and bodies and gore
We hereby give you this honour
Oh, stupendous Minotaur

For mending his ways beneath the ground
And opening every door
And making the labyrinth so popular
By giving a guided tour

Taking the medal from out of a box
From velvet cushion for a sir
She congratulated him on his wonderful work
And pinned it onto his fur

The heat rose up from his nostrils
He turned around on the floor
And before anyone could say goodbye
He went charging out of the door

Smashing his way through the palace gates
He disappeared alone
Beneath the cities of Europe went
Back to his Cretan home

Add Title

After a rainy day

After a rainy day searching
In the chest of drawers
That I took from a starfish
I found these few words

Fried octopus. Escarpment. Planet friendly

On this day
Everything frozen turned to stone

If I think I like it
Worse

None the less
This discovery realised
As compatible
With burning teddy bears
The English are unfriendly
Towards
Girls in yellow ribbons

If you left the tap

If you left the tap
Running
And it follows you
Across the city

Cry wolf-ear
Into the selection
Of your
Puff pastry

If after your trip
You left the tap
Running
In Trafalgar square

Call lion command
And direct the queen’s barge
Into the cave of salt

There is nothing

There is nothing
Like a dame

It halts you
In your motion
Towards the orange crate

Where the mind itself
Sits like a fly-over
Rock-pile desert

And she goes
Down river like a sou
A sausage squeak

There is
Nothing like it
A dame in your brain
And all that
Dancing love
Mode above us
Mrs Dalloway’s day comb

It brings back
Tonnes
Trains and highways
And fields
And singing daisies
Under the collar

If I let you
Will you go
Down the
Network Idaho

There’s a face
In a dark shadow
Rendering
The hoola-hoops
Leaf afraid messages

There’s a danger

There’s a danger
Of wo-mantic
Side truth
In a pillar box
Of favourites

Of developing
Hurdy body
And six-gun shoots
The filter
In your stirrup
That is melting
The horse runs away
On fire
Mirage
Of mangled custody battles
Where washing lines
Cross lightning worlds
Like bib black siren fighters
From Mordovia

In bed
With a dream
Soft and warm
Yor mother comes to you
With her granite hands

The washing-up day

the washing up

Here is the little man who does the washing-up.

I woke up this morning, to see him drowning in the soap suds.

Do you admire the new draining board drainer.

It’s a miracle of design the way it fits on the draining board

I like the different configurations of pots and pans and plates and spoons you can get into it

anyway, may I wish you all a happy washing up day

Waiter there’s a fly in my bath

Waiter there’s
A fly in my bath
That I cannot
Catch
The water
Is too warm
To get out of
The sky outside
Is like milk and mud
In the cold wind
The fly buzzes
Angrily
It attacks my head
It should
Be let out but
There are more
Ready to take
Its place
They are
Natures
Colonialists
In a world they insist
Is there’s

The plastic inflatable bathing pool

A rare visitor to Lidl
I admire the shoe rack,
Hosepipe, griddle
Then was I stopped in the middle
Of the right of way
By a maniac, desperado
Housewife, or muggle
Asking how big is the diameter
Of a puddle
Inside the outside
Of the plastic
Inflatable bathing pool
100 centimetre
Is as big as a big fish
I said
Holding my hand
Concertina-ish
We look like people
Winding wool
Around our wrists
Until with woolly head
She returned the box
Of exploding plastic bathing pool
To the rack
And flew off
With head nearly cracked
Quack quack

A very British UFO

In America
No one believes you
If you see a UFO

You have to have
A TV series
Call in the experts
Heads aglow

In England
A mere student
Sees one passing
In the sky
All the papers
Call him a hero
It make
The girls cry

No wonder then
When Mulder
Looks on with Skully
The English seem
To be do-lolly

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